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Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
—Genesis 2:24
Despite all the rhetoric you may hear in the media to the contrary, marriage between a man and a woman is a divine institution ordained by Almighty God. Marriage is God’s will. There’s a divine principle to leaving your parents, their security and provisions, and cleaving to the one to whom you are now wed in order to build a strong marriage. The two of you are to create a new family unit, independent of your parents.
A great marriage doesn’t just happen. Having a ring and piece of paper doesn’t make a marriage. You can live in the same house and share the same bed with someone and not have the intimacy and commitment that constitute a real marriage. Having children doesn’t guarantee that the two “become one.”
I am convinced that faith in God alone is the foundation of every successful marriage. Why? Because just the act of agreeing that God has first place in every aspect of the marriage declares that the two of you are starting out on common ground. That, in itself, is an achievement! And there’s power in agreement, according to the Word of God. It sounds simplistic, but a married couple must be free to pray together, share the Word of God together, and be intimate with one another concerning God’s Word.
One of the keys to a strong marriage is that the two of you recognize and meet each other’s basic needs. God made us to complete—not to compete with—each another. Although it is a given that each individual may have unique needs and preferences, Dr. Willard Harley Jr. has identified five basic needs men expect their wives to fulfill and five basic needs women expect their husbands to meet:
For Men
- Sexual fulfillment
- Recreational companionship
- An attractive spouse
- Domestic support
- Admiration
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For Women
- Affection
- Conversation
- Honesty and openness
- Financial support
- Family commitment
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Recognize that God made your spouse with these needs and do everything in your power to provide for them. The dynamic keys to commitment and communication we share are designed to bring joy and fulfillment to your marriage. Remember, your wedding is an event, but your marriage is a lifetime achievement!
Related Texts: Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 31:10–12, 28; Amos 3:3; Ephesians 5:22–31; 1 Peter 3:1–8; Hebrews 13:4 |
